Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Renovating sucks!

When life gives you lemons make lemonade! Who said that? I want to punch them in the throat! 
We are over two months into our reno now and I am more frustrated than I have ever been in my life. And that is saying a lot as I have bore 5 children, been a military wife and have had some health issues this past year or so. All those things combined don't even come close to pushing me over the edge like this remodel has. I'm writing this with puffy red eyes and a Xanax hangover (don't judge, I don't drink) while eating stale JuJubes. 

Yesterday was my tipping point. We got our counter tops installed and of course one of our newly installed door casings got damaged by the installer (big, dumb impatient men!). Said door casing has to be ordered in.  Our second  new microwave- the first one was damaged- won't fit correctly into the opening. Stuff like this has been a constant occurrence for us during the remodel. Nothing, and when I say nothing I am in no way exaggerating, has gone smoothly for us since opening this can of smelly worms. 

 It's no secret that I am a perfectionist. I work hard at making things as close to perfect as I can. So when things don't turn out just right I get upset, then I get over it. But usually these occurrences are spread out over a long period of time making it easier to get over. This has become my daily life. And there is literally no one to talk to about the way this makes me feel. No one understands, unless they have lived it, how disruptive a reno is and how literally crazy it makes you. People try to understand and offer pep talks but hearing "it will all be worth it when it is finished" does  not help- like at all!

 I am grateful that we are able to give our house this face lift. It needed it. A lot of people have so much less than we have. Complaining makes my trials seem like such first world problems but they are still trials. Especially for someone like me who puts so much value on being a mother and a  home maker. My house is a reflection of me. I take my job very seriously. My home has always been my sanctuary from the world. My safe haven. And when that sanctuary is in chaos every single day it leaves very negative feelings that are hard, if not impossible, to resolve. Cooking for my family is at the top of my list of necessary and important daily activities in my home. When you are without a stove (over 5 weeks now), running kitchen sink water, and a place to sit and eat as a family it throws you for a loop. 

I am a "glass half full" kind of girl but the last couple of days it has felt "half empty." I actually googled "nervous breakdown" last night to see if that is perhaps what I was experiencing. My symptoms didn't quite meet the criteria for it. I am going to call it renovation sickness! And the cure? Finishing the damn house! 
No one, and I mean NO one can prepare you for, or adequately describe, how you are going to feel living through a reno of this magnitude unless they have done it. And even then the sting of the whole experience will fade for them- kind of like giving birth! You will most likely do/feel the following:

1- Cry- and not little tears, huge crocodile tears!! 
2- Swear like a sailor.
3- Have thoughts of telling off, possibly even doing bodily harm to your contractors.
4- Eat foods of which you can not even pronounce the listed ingredients- like hot dogs and hot pockets. 
5- Go shopping even though you have spent a good portion of your life savings and should not be at Hobby Lobby buying yarn. 
6-  Lose brain cells and have headaches from all of the chemicals in the glue, stain, paint, etc. 
7- Go to bed late just to toss and turn wondering if you chose the right color or flooring, paint, and cabinetry, 
8- Dust a million times, then dust again! 
9- Wear paint stained clothes to Home Depot, Lowe's and Walmart because these store become your best friends. You don't care if you end up on "People of Walmart" because you are on a mission to get your 50th tube of caulk. 
10- Wake up day after day wondering "what else can go wrong?" and quickly finding out PLENTY! 

I have no profound advice on how to survive a renovations as no one can adequately prepare you. You just have to live it. 
Actually I do have some advice. Start it in the Winter say, just after Christmas! Not in the middle of the summer like I did. Then you will be done in time to welcome the holidays with a smile on your face and some freshly baked cookies in your shiny bright, new oven!

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